Funny Marriage Quotes |
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~ Marriage is a mistake every man should make. ~ George Jessel
~ Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton ~ Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ~ Anonymous ~ Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. ~ Lao Tzu ~ Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke. ~ Anonymous ~ Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. ~ Abraham Lincoln ~ Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. ~ Alan King ~ My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said. ~ Anonymous ~ If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself. ~ H.L. Mencken ~ Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ~ John Mortimer ~ A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. ~ Michel de Montaigne ~ If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. ~ Alan King ~ When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~ Sacha Guitry ~ Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~ François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld ~ All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. ~ Raymond Hull ~ Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night.~ Paul Hornung ~ If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. ~ Kin Hubbard ~ I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ~ Lewis Grizzard ~ Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. ~ Mignon McLaughlin ~ Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it. ~ William Somerset Maugham ~ Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. ~ H. L. Mencken ~ Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. ~ Lewis Grizzard ~ Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising. ~ Edgar Watson Howe ~ It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ~ Robert Frost ~ A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. ~ Israel Zangwill ~ When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last. ~ Helen Rowland ~ By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates ~ Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child. ~ Robert Brault ~ The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters. ~ Harold Nicolson ~ Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. ~ Ogden Nash ~ If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~ Mignon McLaughlin ~ All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right. ~ Anonymous ~ Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. ~ Helen Rowland ~ I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. ~ Lyndon B. Johnson ~ Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. ~ Henry Youngman |
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