Funny Family
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~ I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. ~ Erma Bombeck
~ Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. ~ Robert Frost ~ Never raise your hand to your children, it leaves your midsection unprotected. ~ Robert Orben ~ A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt.~ Mark Twain ~ The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions. ~ Robert Brault ~ More boys would follow in their father's footsteps if they weren't afraid of being caught. ~ Anonymous ~ The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness. ~ Nancy Mitford ~ The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. ~ Sam Levenson ~ I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. ~ Lewis Grizzard ~ Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back. ~ Earl Wilson ~ Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. ~ Robert Orben ~ The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. ~ Bertrand Russell ~ Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. ~ John Wilmot ~ By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. ~ Charles Wadsworth ~ A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. ~ Ogden Nash ~ After all, what is a pedestrian? He is a man who has two cars-one being driven by his wife, the other by one of his children. ~ Robert Bradbury ~ My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called 'Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.' ~ Penelope Lombard ~ Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. ~ Evan Esar ~ In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent. ~ Robert Brault ~ If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same. ~ Robert Brault ~ One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world. ~ Proverb ~ I grew up to have my father's looks, my father's speech patterns, my father's posture, my father's opinions, and my mother's contempt for my father. ~ Jules Feiffer ~ This is the reason why mothers are more devoted to their children than fathers: it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and are more certain that they are their own.~ Aristotle ~ Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex's new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate's ex and any new mate that your new mate's ex has acquired. ~ Delia Ephron |
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